


Give Him Back

by Mom_Nicole



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), AU, Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Steve Rogers, Breeding, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Cap Bucky, Cuddles, Deepthroating, Healing, Heats, Hugs, Living in a Cave, M/M, Mating Bond, Omega Steve, Omega Steve Rogers, Omega Verse, Oral Sex, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Recovery, Rough Sex, Sex, Shower Sex, So much angst, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers as the Winter Soldier, Top Bucky Barnes, alpha bucky, bond marks, cabin in the woods bucky, knots, mpreg at a later date, pups at a later date, ruts, steve hiding in the woods, steve with the metal arm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-09-30 17:37:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 13,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17228381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mom_Nicole/pseuds/Mom_Nicole
Summary: What if Steve was the one to fall from the train in order to save Bucky from falling? What if Steve became the winter soldier instead and Bucky crashed the plane.What if by the time Bucky is unfrozen Steve isn’t the winter soldier anymore, but he’s lost, confused without purpose, scared to be around others, thinking he’s a monster.What if while living in the woods to get away from the city Bucky runs into the very man he thought was dead, what if he runs into his omega Steve?





	1. The Start

All he wanted was some peace. Peace from fighting, peace from holding that dam shield up. He just needed a fucking break, a long break, a permanent break. Sam bless him, had sold his upstate cabin to Bucky a few weeks back and it was the best thing the brunette ever did. He tried not to think about the blonde who should be here with him, but of course that never worked out how he wanted.

His omega was never far from his thoughts, even after 70 odd years in the ice and 5 more spent fighting in this new century. His omega was always close to his heart. Always would be.

_________________

When he had first come out of the ice and had time to take in everything he lost. He had made a vow then and there to never take another mate, he refused later on any dates Nat tried setting him up on, he just….couldn’t do it, no one would ever be HIS omega.

__________________

After Steve had pulled him back into the train from nearly falling, only to fall himself a few minutes later…..Bucky had HATED that shield. It was the reason he lost his love, his mate, his omega…..even still….once he was back again in this new world, he had taken it up in honor of his fallen mate and fought and protected like how he knew Steve would have.

______________________

Now though…..he knew he had made the right call in handing it over to Sam, he was a good man who was worthy of the shield. Steve would be proud to know it was going to someone who would uphold what the shield stood for, Bucky just….couldn’t do it anymore. Felt he had done his due and was now retired. If only he wasn’t alone in it.

_________________

The cabin itself was big enough for about four people. The rooms a good size and the shower big enough to hold more than six people. The kitchen was beautiful and roomy. Bucky loved all the space, but….it made him even more aware of how alone he was. Maybe he would have to get a cat or something, something to keep him company.

___________________

Three months into his stay at the cabin, he smells….something he shouldn’t be smelling….something...he knows….ink, the ocean and apples….he knows that smell, but it’s impossible….still he goes in search of it. Roams the grounds outside the cabin for a hour before giving up as the smell vanishes and he’s left with a overwhelming sadness.

He cries himself to sleep that night.

_______________

Two weeks go by before he decides he needs some fresh air. He packs his backpack full of food and supplies before hitting a trail and slowly following it to the lake. It’s a good ten miles and it feels great getting out clearing his mind and just being in the moment.

The sounds of the forest are peaceful and once he gets to the lake, he decides it’s hot enough to get in.

________________

He spends the whole afternoon floating on his back, with his eyes closed and feeling at peace. Later when he lays on shore soaking up the sun, that smell comes to him again, but he keeps his eyes closed and ignores it knowing….it’s just in his mind and slowly drifts off to sleep thinking of his long lost mate.

___________________

By the time he opens his eyes, waking up from a good nap….it’s near dark out and he’s cursing himself for sleeping so long. He dresses and packs everything back up and heads back down the trail. By the halfway point it’s fully dark and he breaks out his head lamp, fitting the stretchy band around his head as the light guides his way.

_______________

He must have taken a wrong turn somewhere, he doesn’t know how, but he did because instead of the cabin, he comes across a cave. A cave that as he gets closer and looks inside looks…..lived in….and isn’t that troubling.

Just when he’s about to turn around he catches a glint of silver metal and then something is hitting him across the back of his head hard enough to knock him out cold.


	2. The Asset

Bucky comes to in stages. First sounds, then smells...lingering smells his brain tries to tell him he knows, but he forces it down because it’s as always wishful thinking. The next thing he notices is his wrist are bound behind him to a boulder he guesses. He tugs his wrist thinking he can break free, but it holds and that’s….troubling in of itself because almost nothing is unbreakable when it comes to his strength and yet, he can’t break his bondage.

When his eyes blink open, he remains still as can be, but takes in his surroundings. It looks like he is alone for the moment and his eyes take in everything.

The cave is indeed lived in and by the looks of it...has been for a long time now. There are weapons everywhere, something that is mildly distressing, but...Bucky’s been in worse places. For all the threats the weapons bring...the place….feels homey. There is a bed, the head and foot board of the thing looking nice...maybe made out of the trees in the forest.

There are jugs of water everywhere too and cans of food, lots of food, and so many unlit and lit candles. His nose perks up when he smells something faint...he can’t get a read on it, the smell feels smothered somehow and it’s off putting how it tingles right at the edges of his brain, but he can’t….place it or rather….can’t place why it smells so right yet so wrong at the same time.

His head snaps up when he senses he is no longer alone, plenty of the cave is still bathed in darkness and it’s where someone stands now, hiding themselves. Bucky’s nose smells omega at least that much he can tell….everything else smells smothered still. He doesn’t however smell anything that should put him on alert.

He can’t smell any danger, no anger or anything of the like just….fear...lots of fear and wariness. While Bucky isn’t thrilled where he is right now, he isn’t going to start off being nasty if he doesn’t have to be. So for now he stays silent, but tries to come off non threatening, even if he is the one tied up. He relaxes his body and stays still.

Whoever the other person is, they are huge, that much he can see, the outline of someone clearly built, their posture is all wrong though, hunched in slightly like they are trying to appear smaller...trying to hide more….again something seems off….and so wrong about all this...Bucky just doesn’t know what.

Slowly, but surely his new visitor moves closer until he kneels down still bathed in shadow and gets out a rough “Drink.” before thrusting a plastic cup full of what looks like water with a straw in it for him to drink from. The gloved hand holding it trembling slightly.

Bucky narrows his eyes and shakes his head. Who knew what was in that.

“Please.” Is spoken in the same rough and almost muffled way, like something was over this person's mouth.

Bucky blows out a long breath weighing his options before deciding to hell with it, he was dam thirsty and his body didn’t get sick anymore so whatever. When he starts drinking from the straw, he sighs at the cool water on his tongue, and his visitor seems pleased by this, making a soft purring sound behind whatever is on his face. Bucky ignores the purring sound.

Once the water is all gone, Bucky just can’t stay silent anymore. “What’s your name?”

His visitor shrinks back fully into the shadows before taking a few minutes to answer in a meek voice, “The asset.”

Bucky frowns….knowing that can’t be this person's name, but decides to try something else. “Can you let me go?”

For whatever reason this only seems to make his visitor upset and before Bucky knows what’s happening his visitor is right in his face growling displeased at that idea clearly. The goggles and mask hiding the strangers face all together. The very long blonde hair falling like a curtain around them.

“No leaving.” Gets growled out and Bucky hates how he can’t see the person.

“Ok no leaving, got it.” Bucky replies wanting to roll his eyes because the tone being used on him is possessive and like hell this person gets to use it on him, in the end he does roll his eyes and goes silent again.

With a huff his new ‘friend’ eases back into the shadows and Bucky is left wondering what the fuck he’s got himself into and how the hell he’s going to get out of here. With a sigh he leans his head back against the boulder behind him and waits for the right time to make his move of escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna be a..........rough road


	3. Who The Hell Is Steve?

The next few days are….much of the same only at some point Bucky does have to take a piss and well he thought that would be his opening to get away, but he was so wrong. This omega was strong, scary strong as much as Bucky was and he finds out the hard way he’s not getting away so easily.

Once he’s manhandled back to the cave and tied back up, his captor hides back in the shadows and it doesn’t escape Bucky’s notice how he’s only taken out of the cave at night for his bathroom breaks. Whoever this omega was he was determined to hide from Bucky and for the life of him he didn’t know why he was trying so damn hard.

When they had been outside, he wasn’t allowed to turn around and really look at his captor, but he was right about the sheer size of this omega. He was huge, even though he really did try and make himself smaller at times by hunching his shoulders more.

______________________

It’s a week in or at least Bucky thinks it is when he starts to get frustrated by the whole thing. He’s ready to go back to his cabin, to his comfy bed and sleep, maybe eat some of that really yummy food he had saved up in the fridge….if it wasn’t bad by now.

His captor won’t tell him why he’s here nor let him go and he’s not doing this forever so something has to give, and it does two days later when Bucky has finally reached his limit of bullshit and decides he is escaping no matter what.

First part of his plan is to get his captor talking, make him at ease then when the moments right flee. He already has a makeshift knife from one of the branches he swept up in his pants on one of his many trips outside the cave. During the times the guy is gone, Bucky kept scraping the bare branch back and forth with his bound hands over the boulder behind him, it’s taken him days to get it as sharp as it’s gonna be for a branch.

“Where’s your alpha?” He starts off one night after he was fed soup.

It hadn’t gone without notice how the omega in front of him had a faded bond mark when he would catch glimpses of his neck.

The question seems to startle his captor as he eases back into the shadows in front of Bucky and sits there….his smell is...afraid again. He wishes he could smell more, but it’s like it’s being….blocked from him and he doesn’t like it….and he also doesn’t know why he dislikes it.

“Dead.” Is finally the reply.

Bucky feels a bit of sadness for the person in front of him, “So is mine.” he replies softly.

The omega seems to be struggling with something, his smell is sour and upset and Bucky has no idea why, but he keeps going.

“What happened to your mate?”

“Don’t.” The voice pleads.

“How did they die?” Bucky ask, as he tries and fails to cut the rope around his wrist with the branch...well that was a fail.

“Stop it!” The voice demands.

Bucky frowns, “No.”

“Yes!”

Bucky growls, “You don’t own me or control me, and you better believe when I get out of these ropes i’m going to kick your fucking ass.”

All he gets now is silence and Bucky is at the end of his rope, he’s so pissed off now and just done with all this.

“What? Got nothing to say? Fucking coward!” Bucky growls louder, making sure his scent is powerful and threatening, not that it’s done much good thus far, but still he’s not backing down.

What he’s not expecting is for his captor, this dam omega to suddenly be in his face, mask and goggles in place and takes the opportunity open to him this time and head butts the fuck out of his captor. The omega makes a pained sound which for some fucking reason gets to Bucky on a primal level, but he ignores it.

Bucky actually flinches back however when the omega is once again in his face, but….the googles are gone, the mask is still on, but those eyes……….such blue eyes full of fire and fury are right in front of his as the omega growls at him like he wants to fight him or hurt him, but….he doesn’t and the longer this goes on Bucky starts realizing something….he can smell the omega more.

He keeps watching those blue, blue eyes and the smell starts coming to him and Bucky feels like Alice right now, surely he has fallen down a rabbit hole because this…..this smell is impossible to copy, no one can copy the smells of coney island or those hot dogs he used to love so much.

The way the ocean smelled down at the docks and the ink that was used to make beautiful art. Bucky smells all that on this omega and Bucky goes from pissed off too confused to something else entirely...because….because….it can’t be….but...that smell….it’s so strong and clear, there was only one person who ever smelled like this and it’s….so painful to think about, but if it’s true dear god….let it be true because if this isn’t a trick and it’s real then that means….

“Steve?” Bucky whispers brokenly, eyes filling with tears, struggling to understand whats happening, but needing to know.

“Who the hell is Steve?” The omega growls, that dam mask still in the way, muffling the voice.

“You….you are.” Bucky struggles not to lose it, taking in those eyes and wondering how he didn’t know as soon as he saw them. “It’s….it’s me Bucky.” He adds on softly.

The blonde shoves himself away from Bucky with a pained whine and flees the cave and the brunette shouts and cries for the blonde to return until he breaks down and sobs alone and still tied up to the dam boulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would highly look at this art because, this is how I pictured Steve looking <3
> 
> http://petite-madame.tumblr.com/post/92568994336/the-winter-soldier-reverseau-bucky-didnt-fall


	4. Babydoll

Bucky isn’t sure how long he just…..cries and sobs. Feels like as long as he was frozen on ice honestly. The pain was two fold, on one hand Steve was fucking alive and holy shit he had a chance to get his omega back….on the other hand….something very bad has happened to him, it was clear as day in his scent the few seconds he was able to smell it.

________________

When Steve still hasn’t come back a few hours later, Bucky starts struggling to try and break the strange rope that never breaks no matter what he does. It’s only once he’s been struggling a good while that he feels the rope loosen from around the boulder finally. The rope doesn’t break so much as it just slowly scoots up the boulder until finally it’s falling all around Bucky and his arms are free.

____________

Bucky has never run so fast as he does, with the afternoon sun beating down on him as he races back to the cabin, which is surprisingly close by. He downs two bottles of water and nearly eats a muffin all in one go before packing food and supplies into his other backpack and races back out. He hasn’t lost Steve’s scent, it’s just further away now, but he follows the scent of ink and ocean breeze as it leads him further into the forest.

_____________

He feels panic fill him as the days go by and he can’t find Steve. He gets back to the cabin every night, heart sad and heavy. He knows Steve is still in the forest somewhere just….the forest is huge and it’s gonna take time. He mourns for how Steve is afraid for him to see him, it hurts….whatever was done to him….Bucky is going to make whoever did this to him pay.

___________________

It takes nearly three weeks before he finds him again and it’s not how he would have wanted the meeting to go. His nose starts to pick up the omega’s scent as he gets closer to a thicker part of the forest and once his nose picks up the scent of blood….his omega’s blood he starts running, weaving in and out of the trees as he gets closer and closer thinking the worst.

It’s still bad when he finds Steve leaning on a tree, ground….covered in blood and a huge dead bear not to far away from them, it looks like the blonde won the fight, but at what cost? The omega is holding his side, which looks like it’s doing no good, as blood keeps flowing down his side and he looks pale as fuck, it’s only then that Bucky see’s the mask is gone.

He’s fulling seeing Steve this time, uniform torn to shreds, hair a long tangled mess. His body is still huge and his face is the same, but his eyes….when they look to him hold so much pain...and longing at the same time. Bucky starts for him, but Steve points a gun at him, pulled from where Bucky has no clue, but it stops him in shock.

“Steve…” The brunette isn’t sure what to do.

“Just...leave.” Steve says finally without the muffled sound of the mask and it’s music to Bucky’s ears.

“Not happening.” Bucky nearly growls, refusing to leave now that he FINALLY has Steve right in front of him.

“You shouldn’t….be around monsters like me.” The blonde says trying to sound stern, but only ends up sounding like he’s about to break.

Bucky wants to scream and shout his pain to the high heavens, but….instead he starts very slowly walking closer.

“Stay back!” Steve growls out.

Bucky keeps walking, “No.”

“I’ll kill you!” The blonde says cocking the hammer back on the gun.

“No you won’t.” Bucky says calmly, still moving towards him, like one would a scared animal.

The hand holding the gun starts to tremble and Steve’s face starts to crumble. ”Bucky….you..have to stay away from me...i’m no good.”

Bucky’s eyes widen at that, but he keeps moving very slowly towards him. “You know me?”

The blonde looks as if it pains him to admit it, but he nods his head as his eyes start to fill with tears, “I know you...you used to be...my alpha.”

“And you were my omega….are still my omega.” Bucky says softly almost to the blonde now.

Steve shakes his head as he starts to hunch in on himself, tears finally sliding down his dirty cheeks. “I’m no good...the things i’ve done...you should put me down.”

At that Bucky growls raw and possessive and finally gets to him, ripping the gun away and tossing it away as he pulls his omega to him as the blonde still tries to fight it.

“You are my omega, I don’t care what you’ve done, I know you would never do bad things unless it was against your will, I don’t CARE how much blood you have on your hands, I do too and I don’t CARE! I just want you, always just you babydoll.” Bucky growls out, meaning every single word with a passion that finally has Steve leaning into his embrace as he sobs into his neck as Bucky holds him tightly, crying himself.

_______________

The walk back to the cabin is a long one, mostly because not even half way back, Steve passes out and Bucky carries him the rest of the way. When he gets his omega back to the cabin the first thing he does is clean the wound and then bandage it up. Noticing that it was already healing really well.

With his omega finally back under the same roof as him and with him in his bed resting, Bucky curls around him and sleeps contently to the sound of his omega’s heartbeat and scent.


	5. Sweetheart

Steve sleeps for days. Bucky would be worried about this, if he didn’t see him still breathing steady and true. Clear his omega had needed the rest and Bucky wasn’t going to deny him that if he needed it. Instead he made sure to keep the bandages clean until the long nasty claws marks on Steve’s side had faded to nothing.

He didn’t know how Steve would react to having his clothing removed, so for now he just used a wet washcloth to get the worst of the dirt and blood out. He did however take his boots and socks off, but his underwear and pants stayed on. The outer harness had been removed from his chest, but he kept his black undershirt on, pulling it up when he had, had to clean the wounds, now with the wounds gone, the shirt is fitted back around his torso.

All Bucky could do now is wait for his omega to wake.

___________________

Bucky doesn’t sleep, he can’t. All he can do is keep watching Steve sleep, afraid if he closes his eyes, his omega will vanish. It’s like a dream having him back, he doesn’t care about the scars he carries, he just wants him anyway he can get him. He smells mostly the same too, like home just now….his scent carries sourness to it, a hint of fear even while he sleeps and Bucky wants to chase it away, hold his omega close and never let go.

___________________

Bucky must have fallen asleep at some point because the feel of something cold wrapped around his throat sure wakes him up. His eyes fly open to the cold gaze of his omega with his….metal hand around his throat….ok yeah he had been trying not to think about his omega’s metal arm, what he must have gone through and now….now he just wants to calm him down.

He can’t get the words out though, the grip on his throat like a vice as his omega drags him up and forward into his face before he’s being dragged to the nearby window as Steve looks out it smelling of fear and shaking. His eyes dart around outside as if looking for danger, but there is none, just the silence of the woods around them.

Bucky grips at the hand on his throat as his other hand gently runs up and down the metal arm. That has the blonde whipping his head around and staring down at the hand touching him like he’s seeing it for the first time. His eyes don’t leave his arm, but his hand does loosen around Bucky’s throat, just gently holds him there now.

Steve tentatively brings his free hand to the one touching his metal arm and seems almost in a trance as he runs a few fingers over Bucky’s knuckles. The brunette coughs softly a few times, but doesn’t take his eyes off of Steve’s face.

“Your real….it wasn’t a dream.” The omega’s voice washes over him, rough from disuse, low and quiet like he can’t believe it.

“I’m real sweetheart.” The alpha says softly, wanting to do so many things in this moment, but holds off. He doesn’t wanna scare his omega away, not again.

Steve’s face starts crumbling before he reigns it in, only to start losing it again. “I…..I…”

“Omega.” Bucky says with a calming rumble.

Steve looks so torn, like he wants to touch, but is afraid to. “Alpha.” He finally whines.

Bucky takes a chance at the sound of the whine and brings his omega forward gently into a warm embrace, one he is thrilled to feel his omega finally return, nose burying in Bucky’s neck scenting him like he’s starved for it. His omega whimpers and whines and Bucky can’t take it anymore.

“I’m here baby...right here….this is real….it’s not a dream...I have you and i’m never letting you go again...I swear it.” Bucky says into the side of the blondes head, scenting him.

At that Steve crumbles in his arms and Bucky holds him as they tumble to the floor on there knees, Bucky never lets go and neither does Steve, his grip on Bucky’s back like a vice and it may even bruise, but Bucky doesn’t give a flying fuck, he’s not letting go either.

________________

“Can you please eat something for me babydoll?”

Steve makes a face at that, instead tightening his grip on the brunette where he holds him on the couch like a octopus.

Bucky understandable understands the feeling of not wanting to move away from the other so he pulls the granola bar out from his sweat pants pocket, all while Steve clings to him like a huge overgrown child in his lap.

Once Bucky has the wrapper peeled off he breaks it in half and brings it to Steve’s lips.

“Eat.” He says firmer this time. It’s not going to do his omega any good to starve and Bucky wont allow it….now that he finally got him back.

His omega complies opening his mouth and takes the food without issue. He chews fast taking the rest of the granola bar and finishing it in record time. Bucky knows that’s the best he will get right now, so he settles back against the couch cushions. Wrapping his arms back around his omega who purrs contently at the touch. Face getting buried back under the brunette’s chin. Bucky rumbles back pleased to be holding Steve once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, in time Steve will tell Bucky why he kept him to himself in that cave....


	6. I Remember

Two weeks go on like this. His omega is very cuddly, Steve rarely stops touching him. Doesn’t like to be without him in anyway. Bucky doesn’t blame him. It’s like starting over again in plenty of ways, neither of them are the same by any means, but it doesn’t mean the brunette doesn’t want him. Steve’s been his really sense they were little kids, just at that age, they didn’t know what it really meant yet, but they would.

When they were 15 and 16 they learned what it meant and never looked back. They had bonded young, but they didn’t care, they knew they were it for the other, no way around it.

__________________

The alpha has noticed something sense he found his omega again. The bond is broken….can feel it...the void in his heart where he should be able to feel Steve and he knows the blonde notices it too…..Bucky wants nothing more then to rebond so badly….to feel him as close as one could get again but….Steve had to be ready for it and Bucky……...would wait as long as he had to.

____________________

It happens during one night when Steve isn’t having nightmares, isn’t living in a state of fear thinking he’s dreamed Bucky up yet again, it happens on one of his good nights and Bucky has to remind himself to go slow, make this count, make this loving and special, like it’s their first time again.

Which means…..for the first time in over 70 years, Bucky is sliding into his omega heat, sliding into the tightness of his greedy hole and he could cry from how good it feels. Steve whines for a kiss and Bucky starts slowly pumping his hips in and out of him as he takes his omega’s face in both his hands, framing it and looking deep into those beautiful eyes, those long eyelashes, even taking in his soft and chapped lips before leaning down and claiming them for himself.

_____________________

They lose track of time, Steve is so sweet for him, begging for more and who is Bucky to deny him anything he wants? Bucky spends hours fucking him slow and sweet, making his omega come more then once before finally he can’t take it anymore….when Steve breaths out the words against his lips, “Do it alpha...give me your mark again...claim me….please...I need you.”

Bucky can’t hold back a moment longer, when he thrust his cock inside his mate again, his knot pops in place as he starts coming into his mates willing body and sinks his teeth deep into Steve’s neck, rebonding him. His omega cries out in pleasure and his fingers dig into Bucky’s shoulder blades as he comes yet again between them.

It’s like stars bursting behind his eyelids and the brunette is helpless against the pull of the bond reforming between them. Steve starts breathing out little “Oh, oh, oh, oh.” softly lost in the same pull as Bucky.

That heat...that heat starts to fill that void in his heart where the bond once was. Fills it until he can feel Steve again in a way he hasn’t in so long and he starts to cry from how raw and wonderful it feels. He goes willingly when Steve pulls him into a watery kiss, both of them crying and sobbing in joy, the emotions between them free and open for both to feel from the other, nothing to hide.

Inbetween kisses his omega starts to repeat on a loop, “I remember, I remember….I remember it all...alpha...alpha….”

Steve starts sobbing again and Bucky can just feel it…….. His omega’s mind was fractured in a way, couldn’t remember much, only bits and pieces here and there, but now he was remembering it all and it was flooding the newly formed bond and Bucky….just holds his omega tighter to him.  
_________________

Even later Steve is still….in awe and a bit of shock, his mind still going a mile a minute, recounting everything that had been lost to him as Bucky baths him in the bathtub. Eager to touch and love on his mate and care for him, smile on his face knowing his omega is content and happy in this moment in a way he hasn't been sense he got him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just because Steve remembers everything doesn't mean everything is rainbows and sunshine lol
> 
> Besides...Bucky still doesn't know it was hydra who had him..........but he will.......


	7. Home

Bucky wonders sometimes what would have happened if he had been the one to fall from the train. Those thoughts come to him sometimes when he’s lying in bed at night, Steve in his arms, curled around him like a koala bear, even in his sleep. Sense he got Steve back, the brunette’s been sleeping less, he doubts this feeling like he’s dreaming will end anytime soon. He had thought his omega was lost to him for so long, it’s going to take just as long he’s sure to know, to really know it’s not a dream.

__________________

Bucky wakes some 3 weeks later to something different today. He knows his omega had one hell of a nightmare last night and got little sleep, Bucky got no sleep himself, still he must have got 2 hours or so because when he wakes it’s without Steve next to him in bed snuggled close. Instead of panicking, he wills himself to stay calm and follow his nose to the kitchen where he finds Steve……...cooking breakfast, silly apron on and everything, in fact that’s all he has on, leaving his bare ass for all to see and Bucky fights the urge to bite it.

Instead he shuffles forward making enough noise for Steve to hear before wrapping himself around his omega and peers over his shoulder at the bacon and eggs cooking together, his mouth waters at the smell right before he starts peppering small kisses over Steve’s shoulders, freckles standing out in the morning sun shining in through the window. His Irish skin pale and beautiful.

“Mmmmm smells good.” Bucky finally whispers in between the kisses he lays down on that lovely skin.

“Just thought….I would make you breakfast for once, your always taking care of me alpha.” Steve whispers softly, scent happy even if it’s a bit sleepy.

“I would gladly spend the rest of my life taking care you omega….no one else I want.” Bucky mumbles into his skin, scent content.

Steve bites his bottom lip torn between laughing in joy or crying from the raw honesty in his alpha’s voice. He doesn’t think he will EVER deserve Bucky, but…..the past year….getting away from...all the bad he had been forced to do, Steve isn’t sure why Bucky still wants damaged goods like himself, but he’s so...greedy...he wants Bucky so bad, he just can’t stay away.

“Hey...shh none of that now omega.” His alpha whispers into his neck, having picked up on his slightly sad scent.

Steve takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before nodding, pressing more firmly back into Bucky’s body who easily takes the weight and just holds him tighter.

________________________

A full month into having his omega back, Bucky finds him one evening gone from the bed. They had fallen asleep a few hours prier needing a nap and now Bucky wonder’s where he is like always. First he busies himself with getting some water and once that’s done and the glass is empty, he wanders to the attic where he knows Steve is by his scent.

Once there he stands in the doorway and just….watches him. When Bucky had ordered the art supplies he was afraid maybe he had overstepped, just because Steve had liked doing art before, didn’t mean he did now, but his omega had acted like he had been given the best gift when he saw it all, like it was Christmas morning or something. He had been very pleased and now….that’s how Bucky finds him.

Painting the forest that surrounds them in vivid greens and golds, shades of pinks and purple for the sky. It’s stunning. His metal arm sure and true as it strokes over the canvas.   
____________________

Maybe this had been a mistake coming back to the cave, Steve didn’t look so great and his scent was sour and bitter, but he had that tilt to his chin that he wore before and during the war when his mind was made up about something. Together they grab the few things Steve wanted to get from this place before returning home, because that’s what the cabin has become, their home.

When they get back Steve dumps everything at his feet and beelines for the bathroom where he throws up his lunch and everything else in his stomach. Bucky follows concerned and worried, he kneels next to his omega and rubs up and down his back offering a soothing rumble and gentle touches. Trying to keep his scent calm and reassuring.

Only once Steve is through does he speak, voice partly muffled from where he still leans his head down, just in case he gets sick again. “Sorry….the smell of that place….I just can’t...was to much.”

“It’s alright, we don’t ever have to go back.” Bucky offers softly.

Steve offers a quiet “Ok.”

_______________________

Later that night, 6 weeks after Bucky found him again, they hang up Steve’s forest painting, it proudly gets displayed right in the living room.


	8. Pain

Two weeks later finds Bucky waking up from a light sleep to the only light coming into the room from the moonlight outside and the bedside table clock showing it’s only 3am. Shuffling up out of bed clad in only his boxers, he stumbles along into the livingroom and stops in his tracks.

Sitting there in more moonlight on the carpeted floor next to the big bay windows is Steve. Hair glowing corn yellow, pale skin milky and soft looking. The scars around his metal arm where it meets his shoulder pale and pink and in his hands and partly resting on the floor is the shield.

Bucky swallows the lump forming in his throat. It was true he had passed the shield to Sam, but not the original one, nor the original suit either, those Bucky kept and it’s what Steve runs his hands over now, shiny and metal, looking worn, but still standing strong, much like the omega who touches it now.

Wordlessly he walks over and sits down across from him on the floor, sitting crossed legged, hands finding the edge of the shield, silently watching his omega.

“You kept it.” The blonde finally speaks, low and quiet.

“I did.” Bucky responds just as softly.

“Why?” Steve wonder's out loud.

“After you….fell……. It seemed the right thing to do, to..keep using it for good to help others and I didn’t stop for a long time….something happened and I was frozen for 70 years and once I woke up...I just kept going...until I handed it off to someone more deserving of it.”

Bucky finally raises his eyes from the shield and looks into eyes as blue as forget-me-nots that watch him in a sad understanding. Questions he clearly wants to ask, but holds off on for now. Before they look back down at the shield.

“For so long, everytime they put me in the chair, all I could see was your face as they wiped my mind yet again….they never could take that away, I would always see your face...smiling at me and it made it just enough that...I could make it another day...another mission.” He trails off for a minute.

Bucky remains silent as his eyes fill with tears. He still knows very little of Steve’s time away from Bucky, what he does know was that it was torture and brutal, made to do things against his will and now he knows how. The fact that Steve was able to keep those tiny, tiny memories of him and his face even after all that is telling of Steve’s strength and resolve.

“I’m going to say something alpha and you can’t interrupt me.” Steve says firmly, even if his voice and scent also carry distress.

“Alright.” He whispers, dread already filling his lungs.

“I know...i’m not the omega you had..before...i’m trash...i’m no good.”

Bucky fights every instinct in him not to say something firmly back against that way of thinking, but he promised and for now he upholds that promise of remaining silent. 

“The things I did….the things they made me do….the things I can’t do.”

Steve takes a deep breath in and he raises his eyes and looks into Bucky’s who have long ago over ran with tears.

The Blondes face crumbles even as his voice firmly says, “I’m barran alpha….they tried so many times...and it never took...not once...I could never give them the super soldiers they wanted and…..i’m afraid I can’t ever give you pups alpha…” He trails off succumbing to his tears.

Bucky can’t stand it any longer he crawls over the shield and raises up on his knees so he’s above the blonde and cups his face in his hands firmly yet gently.

“Look at me omega.” He half growls, half sobs.

Steve’s eyes are red rimmed and endlessly leaking tears, cheeks red and blotchy and Bucky finds him so fucking beautiful.

“You are not trash. You are not a bad omega. You are the only omega I want. The world could burn to hell and as long as I had you, I would be home. You are my home. You are my omega and I don’t give a fuck if we never have pups. I just need you.”

Steve’s eyes grow wide as he listens, his mouth falling open by the end of it, so stunned by the venomish truth of the words, how strongly Bucky feels, he feels it inside and out.

“Alpha..” He barely even whispers before the brunette is kissing him hard and without restraint. 

“I’m a broken thing of a alpha and you could do ten times better than me, but i’m greedy. I want you so badly, fuck sweetheart you're all I want forever and i’ll tell you that everyday of my life.”

Steve whines at those words, “Your the best and only alpha I ever want.”

Bucky growls going back in for more deep soul searing kisses, pouring everything he has into it as Steve does the same, words failing him and showing it the only way he can.

Bucky leans back, never taking his eyes off of him, “God I want to kill them so bad, kill them in the worst ways, make them pay for hurting my omega…” Steve cuts him off with another whine and another deep kiss, pulling his alpha more firmly against him as they tumble down to the floor, shield digging into the blondes back.

“You would kill them for me alpha?” Steve says roughly between kisses.

“I would burn them to ash.” Bucky answers before starting to nip and suck at his omega’s neck and throat.

Steve gasp, the sheer murderous tone in Bucky’s voice towards those who harmed him coupled with the love bites being given to his skin turn him on like nothing else before. Knowing that his alpha would kill them for him, kill those who harmed him for so long, lights a fire in him. His inner omega crying out in primal pleasure at the very idea.

Bucky catching his scent, growls possessively, “I couldn’t protect you then, but i’ll protect you now, any who dares to touch you like that again will be killed on the spot.”

Steve whines low in his throat feeling the tell tell signs of slick in his ass and his cock filling at a super fast rate, arousal spiking high. 

Bucky answers in kind by ripping his sleep pants off, spreading his legs and proceeds to eat Steve out, licking into his waiting hole until Steve is coming untouched, hands holding onto Bucky’s hair like a lifeline, shouting his pleasure into the darkened room, the star of the shield digging into his back, but he doesn’t care, all he cares about is his alpha.

He doesn’t waste any time, he leans up and tackles Bucky down to the floor before ripping his boxers off and engulfes his cock all in one go, deep throating him. His alpha shouts in surprise before fisting Steve’s hair as he comes down his omega’s throat fast as that. Steve swallows it all down before popping off of it and crawling towards his alpha’s waiting mouth where he kisses him deeply.

They fall asleep there on the floor, shield resting next to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told ya'll on tumblr the angst in this chapter was bad, hands out blanket sized tissues.
> 
> P.S. I toned it down from the original draft.
> 
> P.P.S. It will get better.


	9. It's Been A Long, Long Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve relearns his love for music

The weeks carried on much the same way. Good days and bad. Steve had only been free for a year before he ran into Bucky so there was still ALOT of things he was going through and dealing with. Bucky wasn’t without his own problems and issues. Nightmares took them both, ptsd took them both, they were a mess some days, but a mess together was better than a mess alone. **  
**

                                  ________________

Case in point, today Bucky has a knife pulled on him when he drops a pot onto the floor of the kitchen, the thing making a loud  _bang_  sound. It’s scary how Steve can go from soft and sweet to deadly and cold in seconds. It’s something he didn’t have before or during the war, but something he has now and Bucky has to remember this is his Stevie always no matter what form.

“It’s ok omega, it’s ok...I just dropped the pot babydoll.” Bucky says softly, his right hand wrapped around his omega’s wrist holding the knife to his throat.

It takes a few minutes, but Steve’s eyes clear and then he just looks….so heart broken, he drops the knife and lunges forward to wrap his arms around his alpha’s neck. No words this time just...a tight hold, a silent  _‘i’m sorry’_  and Bucky takes his sweetheart in his arms and holds him close, petting over his soft blonde hair and makes soothing noises.

                                            _________________

Music...it was something that used to fill their small one bedroom apartment, a record player they found someone was throwing out and records when they could afford that sort of thing. They only had five records back then, but they were cherished.

Now Bucky has that same record player, thanks to Nat getting it back for him from the museum it was in along with those records. He has sense added so many records to the original five that he has a bookcase just for them all. He has music on his phone too, but there’s just something about the records, the way they sound. Sometimes he wants that and it’s that sound now he wants Steve to hear again.

                                       ______________________

Back when the blonde was small and could be tucked into Bucky’s body right up under his chin, they would sway to music at the end of a long day, sure the blonde had two left feet when it came to the faster numbers, but the slow ones? He had those down perfectly.

During the war, when they stayed in a tiny french town on two days of leave, Steve had still tucked into his body so well, sure his head didn’t fit under Bucky’s chin anymore, but even bigger, he had fit right up against his body so perfectly. 

Let no one ever say Steve Rogers could not still be hugged or cuddled in his bigger body, he was the most snuggly person Bucky had ever known, even though he would deny that statement, it was true and Bucky loved to use him as his favorite pillow always.

So now bringing Steve to the living room after his scare this morning, he just wants his omega to relax a bit, heaven knows they need it. Clad in only their boxers and their hair a mess, Bucky selects  _‘It’s been a long, long time’_  and holds the blonde close as they start swaying to the music.

Steve isn’t sure at first, but soon enough he melts into his alpha’s arms and moves with him, scent relaxing, body relaxing just how Bucky was hoping it would. The alpha starts singing along to the music, voice soft next to his omega’s ear.

_“Never thought that you would be_   
_standing here so close to me_   
_there's so much I feel that I should say_   
_but words can wait until some other day.”_

Steve gasp softly, fingers tightening their hold on Bucky.

_“Kiss me once, then kiss me twice_   
_Then kiss me once again_   
_It's been a long, long time_   
_Haven't felt like this, my dear.”_

Bucky just holds him tighter.

_“Since I can't remember when_   
_It's been a long, long time_   
_You'll never know how many dreams_   
_I've dreamed about you.”_

Steve’s eyes fill with tears as they continue to sway in the living room, sunlight filtering in through the blinds.

_“Or just how empty they all seemed without you_   
_So kiss me once, then kiss me twice_   
_Then kiss me once again_   
_It's been a long, long time.”_

Bucky trails off as the record ends with that scratchy sound and it’s just them left standing there looking at each other, hearts full, worries gone for now and their scents peaceful and happy, the kiss they share is tender and loving and just what they needed.  
                                 ____________________

The next day will bring about enough challenges of it’s own soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The challenge being: going into town together for supplies....


	10. Steve's Pov

The scratching sound of the record player was in the background along with the random music Steve put on. Sneaking out of the bedroom without waking his alpha was no easy feat, but he had done it and was trying to make breakfast for him. If he was lucky he could bring it back to him so he could feed his mate in bed.

Biting his bottom lip he looks at everything on the kitchen counter and wonders where to start. He’s glad he pulled on his alpha’s robe, the cabin was a bit cold this morning and he really should start a fire, but he wants to get this started first. Steve does take a moment to bury his nose in the collar of the robe and breath in deeply.

His alpha’s scent fills his nose and helps him relax and not worry about ruining breakfast before he’s even started.

_________________

Ok so maybe he wasn’t the best at this, there was flour everywhere, even in his hair. The kitchen looks like someone came in and trashed the place. The pancakes though look good and taking a test bite of one proves they taste good too, so there’s that.

The bacon is a tad burnt though and the eggs are maybe a touch overdone. At least cutting up the fruit has been easy. The oatmeal though….well it didn’t seem right, to thick, maybe adding some milk to it would help.

With a sad sigh Steve starts loading everything onto the tray to take into the bedroom, hoping his alpha wasn’t to let down by his breakfast today. His last task is getting two mugs out and filling them with coffee, black for himself and 7 sugar packets for Bucky’s. His sweet tooth still going strong, even after all this time.

Steve felt lucky he could even drink coffee again, and he still loved it black same as before….well before the war. They normally hadn’t had the money for all the extras to go in it, so Steve made due. Now though….he still liked it this way.

__________________

The music follows him as he takes the loaded up tray and heads up the stairs to the second floor and down the hall to their bedroom, opening the door with his hip he places the tray down on the nightstand before crawling into bed to wake his mate.

Steve finds himself glad some things….have not changed, not that he remembers everything from his point of view, but he does remember everything from bucky’s point of view thanks to the bond and he knows his mate back then hated mornings much like he still does now.

So the soft kisses he places on his mates back, peppering them all over the warm skin wakes the brunette slowly and in a way he loves. Once he smells like he is awake enough Steve grabs the tray of food and places it over his own lap as he settles back against the headboard.

He grabs a piece of bacon and waves it under his alpha’s nose and his plan works how he knew it would. Bucky opens his mouth, eyes still closed silently asking for the bacon and Steve gently feeds it to him. Steve may have had a rough year of learning how to be a human again instead of nothing more than a weapon and he may still have a long road ahead of him, but in this moment he smiles grateful to have his alpha back and slowly feeds him his breakfast.

_____________________

At some point Bucky sits up with his eyes still closed, but a small smile on his face before opening his mouth silently asking for more and Steve feeds him the eggs, then pieces of pancake, once he gets to the strawberries, Bucky finally blinks his eyes open, the grey of them reminding him of cloudy days in the winter, but unlike winter, Bucky’s eyes are warm and filled with fondness and love as he slowly chews the berry in his mouth, his lips getting red juice on them, making them stand out even more than they normally do.

It’s enough to make Steve lean forward and kiss those lips and he gets sweetness on his tongue when he does. When the brunette’s hands both wind behind the blondes neck to deepen the kiss, Steve surrenders to his alpha’s inviting scent and taste, moaning softly, and begging for more.

_________________

Much later after a few rounds of love making and a nice long hot shower, it’s time to head into town and Steve….is trying to hang onto the peace this morning has brought. He dresses silently. He can tell Bucky wants to say something, but he also doesn’t want to baby Steve, it’s a fine line some days, but honestly after everything….Steve wouldn’t mind the babying as much as he used too.

He knows what he is capable of, could snap a person’s neck without even thinking about it, could and has killed many, many people, his hands have been used to do the dirty work of people for over 70 years and now….being taken care of, being babied….doesn’t seem so bad anymore.

“Say it….whatever’s on your mind alpha say it.” Steve finally says, hugging Bucky from behind.

The brunette for his part wraps his hands over his omega’s resting on his belly and leans back into his body, knowing he can take the weight easily. Bucky links their fingers together, metal and flesh.

“I’m worried this will be to much for you….that’s it’s too soon.” He finally says, his scent worried and concerned.

Steve buries his nose in those scent glands on Bucky’s neck and sags more onto his alpha, “I’ll have you with me…as long as your with me I….I can do it.”

_____________

The drive into town is nice, even if Steve is watching the tree line the whole time. He stays by Bucky’s side the whole time they shop for food to take back to the cabin, keeps his hoodie up and his eyes down when he’s not making sure of all the exits and sight lines. Even so, he does enjoy the simple task of picking out food to eat AND enjoy.

It’s….nice, nicer than he thought it would be, and it only gets better when he’s finished helping Bucky load everything into the back of the pickup truck and his eyes finally lift and spot a store next to the food mart, as if in a trance he walks forward and enters the store and feels himself….grow….excited.

His eyes take in the rows and rows of art supplies, all the colors of paint, he wants it all. It’s like being transported into another world and he loses himself in the bright happy colors, even when Bucky follows him in a minute later, he doesn’t notice him at first and it’s only when Bucky brings over a cart smiling softly and says, “What do you wanna get baby?” That Steve finally turns to look at him, his scent happy and excited and smiles like he’s a kid again, only this time, unlike in the 40’s, they have the money now.

“Everything.”

___________________

They don’t get everything, but they get about 9 bags worth and it’s all Steve can do not to bounce up and down in his seat. He’s so happy he doesn’t even watch the tree lines during the trip home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve finally ask for something he wants and Bucky is so proud of him.


	11. Steve Ponders

“I miss it some days..” Steve whispers into the dark of the bedroom a few nights later.

Bucky has him snuggled close with his nose buried in the blonde locks of hair.

“Miss what?”

“My....ring.”

Bucky feels that same loss, when he was fighting the red skull he lost his ring too.

“I miss my ring too.” The alpha whispers.

By now Steve knows the story of how he lost it, seeing it all unfold in the bond they share weeks ago.

“We.....we could get new ones?” Steve ask softly and carefully, scent cautious.

Bucky smiles at the idea, “We can do that babydoll.”

Steve lets out a pent up breath and relaxes against him, “I’d like that alpha.”

_________________

A few days later finds Steve painting, something he does if he’s had a nightmare, something he does if he’s having a good day, it’s just something he does, much like how he had that year on his own, chopped wood, it was something that took up his time and something he enjoyed.

He likes the painting much more, he isn’t sure what he would do with all the finished pieces though and he had plenty of them already, his alpha’s eyes lighting up everytime he saw a new one and there was something in seeing that simple joy that made Steve want to paint even more, just to see those beautiful eyes light up.

______________

Steve was waiting….waiting for the day hydra would find him. It was something that he feared more than anything, being taken away from his alpha, now that he got him back in his arms, now that they were rebonded, just being ripped away from him.

Bucky was strong, so was Steve and yet, the omega still held this fear deep inside, his alpha was aware of this fear, held a very similar fear himself, all they could do was make sure the cabin had everything they needed in case the worst should happen. There was no way anyone was getting in this cabin and them not knowing.

It went a long way in easing their minds knowing the cabin, their home was their safe space fully now, they had enough setup that anyone trying to get in here like that…..they wouldn’t live very long that’s for sure.

___________________

The weeks went by one day at a time, Steve was still learning to be….as close to himself as he could be. Sometimes he would remember right after becoming captain america and how he felt finally being able to fight, how good it had felt to help and now…..if he never had to fight again, he would be fine with that.

He wouldn’t stand for bullies and well the ones who had him all those years, they had been the biggest bullies of all. He wishes he could remember more about them, even a name would be helpful, to make sure they would be stopped, and that was the thing of it wasn’t it?

Steve didn’t want to fight anymore, but he knew to take down the ones who hurt him most? He would fight, would fight until all of them were dead and gone.

It had been a surprise though...learning of how Bucky had picked up his shield for him, stood up to bullies and fought back against injustices, tried to make a difference and help people. Steve was touched and proud of him for that, but….he was glad he was done fighting, he was selfish now….he wanted Bucky all to himself.

_________________

“Alpha…..alpha….please more.” Steve whines into the pillow, teeth biting at it as Bucky slams home into his hole yet again, making him keen from it.

“That’s right omega, that’s right...let me in….” Bucky’s hands tighten on his hips from behind.

“Knot me alpha….please...need to feel it.” Steve pants out. He lives for these moments when everything zeros down to him, Bucky and his knot, being filled, being claimed by the love of his live, his mate.

Bucky growls possessively and starts really slamming home into his omega’s welcoming hole, the solid sound of skin hitting skin as he pounds into him filling the space. It’s a warmer afternoon outside and the sun fills the space of the bedroom with warm light.

Steve’s hair is highlighted, and his pale and scarred back is beautiful, all the dusting of freckles only adding to it, Bucky can’t help, but lean down and bite over them, his cock starting to really hit Steve’s prostate making him cry out, his scent only growing to a more warm smell, like a warm drink on a cold night, something sweeter like spiced pumpkin and Bucky can’t help rubbing his face over his omega’s back like a cat, his hips never losing their rhythm.

“Oh Bucky.” Steve can’t stop saying under his breathing, eyes glazed over in pleasure, bottom lip red and bit swollen.

“Alpha...alpha...alpha….ALPHA!” Steve screams when Bucky reaches around and grabs the blondes cock, making him come harshly into the sheets below him.

“Oh fuck!” Bucky yells feeling Steve’s hole clench around him so tightly his knot is suddenly popping in place as he comes deep inside his mate.

__________________

They spend the rest of the day cuddled up in bed looking at rings online until they find ones that look very close to the ones they had before and hit the order button.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They found a little half bombed out church in France back during the war and got married.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, how many of you are afraid of when hydra comes into the picture?


	12. 1 Year

It takes a year.

A full year to feel like he is getting his life back, every step of the way his alpha has been with him, through the bad, dark days, through the happy, calm days and everything inbetween.

It takes a full year on top of the one before it for his body to work out all the things that had been secretly hampering him from conceiving. Steve thought he was barren, when he was in fact able to carry pups, but only with his alpha.

Still, it’s a shock when Steve wakes up one day and notices he’s craving more food then normal, but chalks it up to the hours of love making the night before, it had been on the tail end of his heat after all, and he was always more hungry after a heat.

_______________________

Steve notices these little changes, but continues to ignore them because he knows he can’t carry pups, so why be concerned?

Bucky never says anything about his smell changing, which is the first sign of it anyway. No, Steve knows he can’t be, so the fact that he got sick the night before over his dinner suddenly smelling wrong, isn’t anything to be worried about.

___________________

Bucky does his best not to panic or mother hen his mate, but the small changes going on….he notices them all with hawk like eyes. Steve eats nearly double his already huge amount of food, certain smells throw him into being sick, and things he hated eating before he now craves.

He wishes he could talk to Steve about it, but his omega is just so sure about being fine, that Bucky just….goes along with it………...for now.

______________

Steve is not fine, the longer it goes on, the more Bucky knows he just….knows. This should be a happy thing, but the one time he tried to bring that up Steve had a total meltdown. It had been a bad day. Now Bucky doesn’t know what to do and he doesn’t have the heart to tell his omega he smells different now, smells sweeter, smells just so much better than he did before.

___________________

Something has to give because of course it does. When Steve’s belly starts showing, when it starts having a more rounded shape, Bucky has had enough. This can’t keep going on.

___________________

He makes his move a day later when there in bed together and he has Steve under him. He goes for the belly to place kisses on it and like normal Steve tries stopping him and that opens the door Bucky needed.

He pins Steve’s hands above his head and stares him down. “Enough sweetheart enough.”

He has to walk a fine line here between firm, yet loving. Steve could very easily break out of his hold and when he doesn’t, when Steve’s eyes start to fill with tears as he turns his head away, Bucky’s first gut reaction is to back off, but he can’t, not yet anyway.

“Doll talk to me please….why won’t you acknowledge it?”

Steve just closes his eyes at that, a few tears slipping free and Bucky whines low in his throat seeing it, but doesn’t stop.

“Say it.”

Steve shakes his head.

“Say it sugar.”

Steve’s bottom lip trembles, but he says nothing.

“Your pregnant Steve, say it. Your carrying our pup...say it.” Bucky begs, rubbing his nose alongs Steves, loosening his hold on the blondes wrist and instead cupping his face in both hands.

“I can’t.” Steve whispers brokenly.

“You can babydoll.” Bucky whispers right back, trying to surround his mate in his protective and calming scent, trying to show him he’s not alone, never alone.

“If I say it, it’s real, if it’s real, that means this pup is going to hate me.” Steve finally gets out, what has been his biggest fear. One of the few things he has had a good lock on through the bond, keeping Bucky out and now….now he knows.

“Oh sweetheart no.” Bucky whines so sad to hear it though.

He pulls them to their sides and holds his omega close, tucking the blondes head under his chin, intertwining their legs, so he is surrounding his mate, touching him everywhere.

“When they find out what I did, what I was, they’ll hate me.” Steve whispers, holding onto his mate tightly, but his mind is so lost in despair at the idea of his pup rejecting him.

“Our pup is going to love you baby. They’re only going to know you as their dad, they’re only going to see the love you have to give.”

“When they get older…”

Bucky cuts him off seeing where he is going, “When they get older and want to know all that, then we will sit them down and talk about it, but by that time they will have had spent plenty of time with you, the real you, there not going to hate you just because they learn you were brainwashed and made to do things against your will.”

Bucky tries to sound so sure of himself, but the truth is, he doesn’t know the future. He can only hope for the best and they have years before that is even a issue anyway, Steve knows this, can smell it, the truth of it, and see it through the bond when he starts to calm a bit, see Bucky means it. For now they should just worry about them in this moment, not something 15 years away.

“I’m still scared.” Steve says roughly.

“It’s ok to be scared omega-mine and your not alone, i’m scared too.” Bucky has no issue admitting the truth.

When they take a moment and just breathe together, just let the bond ebb and flow between them, Steve can see it. The fear Bucky holds, if something goes wrong with the baby or him, Steve see’s it and hugs his mate tighter.

“Oh alpha-mine.” Steve doesn’t know what else to say so he just sniffles and licks over the brunette’s bonding mark on his neck.

The touch is grounding and Bucky relaxes into the touch. “Together we can do this Steve….I promise.”

Steve lets out a shaky breath, “Together.”


	13. Care & Love

6 MONTHS LATER….. **  
**

“Omega….”

“Alpha...please…”

“Mmmmm.”

Bucky can’t find it in him to really say anything else as his mouth closes around Steve’s right nipple and sucks.

“Oh fuck…..” Steve cries out brokenly, tears leaking from his eyes, as his hand holds Bucky’s head right where it is tightly, legs spreading wider on their own accord, his cock leaking against his belly steadily. 

Steve sobs out his pleasure with Bucky’s name on a loop, intermixed with the words  _‘alpha’_  and  _‘yes’_.

They had learned not to long ago that Steve’s nipples were more sensitive now that his chest was filling with milk for the pup to come and they had also discovered a new kink, Bucky REALLY loved nursing from them, the creamy milk filling his mouth was like the sweetest honey and Steve….his poor, sweet omega found he could orgasm easier this way, when Bucky would lick and suck on them.

When he would brush his scruff from his beard over the sensitive peaks and nuzzle inbetween his beautiful pecs. It would drive Steve wild with need and he could and had come untouched more then once just like that.

Like he does right now, “ALPHA!”

                                                   _______________________

Steve has come to really like the town they drive to when they need things. Upstate new york was much calmer for him, less people meant less stress. Smaller towns and smaller cities tended to have those smaller things of people, which meant more often than not, most people knew each other and most of the town loved Steve and his beautiful art that now hung all over the town.

In a few bars, their favorite diner, and so many more places. Steve had ended up earning so much from doing all the art, that he saved it all back for rainy days in a huge piggy bank Bucky made him out of pure wood.

The blonde still kept his metal arm hidden though, always wore a glove on that hand and now had a fancy sleeve thing to wear over the arm part to make it look human like, something that freaked him and Bucky out when it was on, but helped him blend in so they were both very grateful to Stark for it.

He only wore the thing when they went to town anyway.

It had been a surprise Christmas gift last year and at the time Steve had worried he would be taken in now that Stark knew where they were and everything that would entail, but it had turned out it was uncalled for, all that worry.

Unbeknownst to him and his alpha, the Avengers had taken care of the hydra cells that had popped up after Bucky retired. They had also taken care of hydra ever finding them and the one time they came close…..they both learned Nat took care of them and harshly.

That had sent them both into a….stressful time for a bit, not knowing if they would have to move, find a new home. It never came to be however. Thanks to Thor,  _who Steve still hasn’t met yet or any of them really, not face to face anyway,_  and the avengers they had ended hydra, all known bases, all known people within hydra.

Hydra were like weeds though and everyone knew it, but this was a huge step and hopefully the few left out there would just die out. That was Steve’s wish and Bucky’s too.

                                       _________________

So now his art dots throughout the town, his art hangs in their cabin and he has tentatively starting doing online work for people if and when he has some spare time to do so. He wants to spend a good chunk of his time with his mate and nothing, not even his art is gonna take that away from him.

                                    _______________

Bucky prides himself on making his mate feel good, or doing the best he can. So when Steve actually ask to have his hair washed as they take a bath together, he makes sure his fingernails scratch his head just right to make his omega shiver against him.

His omega still doesn’t ask for much, so when he does, Bucky jumps all over it. 

Once they get out, Steve beats him to the towels and wraps Bucky up in the soft blue towel and dries him off, kissing him all the while in no hurry to do anything.

Bucky sighs into the kiss and enjoys the pampering before he grabs the red towel and dries off Steve gently, before rubbing the towel over his swollen belly with all the fondness in the world, ending it with a nuzzle and a kiss to the baby bump.

                                          ______________

They nap the day away for a few hours before Steve is up, moving as silent as can be and making himself a snack he is craving.

                                 ___________

When Bucky wanders into the living room not even twenty minutes later, yawning and scratching over chest, his eyes take in Steve sitting on the couch, leaning back enough to put his feet up on the coffee table in front of him,  _one that Bucky made from scratch._

His omega is using his belly as a place to set the bowl of what looks like, chocolate ice cream, pickles, peanut butter and….salsa all in one bowl and one his omega is gladly eating from with a look of such happiness, Bucky can’t even really make a face over the weird mixture, just comes in and sits down next to him, kissing the side of his head before getting right back up and sitting down on the coffee table.

He picks his omega’s feet up and puts them in his lap and proceeds to rub over the slightly swollen ankles and that….has Steve closing his eyes and sighing softly.

“That feels so good alpha.” His scent radiating nothing but pure contentedness and Bucky’s scent surely smells of pride, happy he can take such good care of his mate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah no hydra, never gonna be any hydra, it just doesn't fit with a mostly fluffy fic <3


	14. Here She Is

It was true, Steve and him were like hermits. They loved living so far away from people. They had the nearby town, but other then that, they didn’t miss the big cities nor need tons of loud people around them like they would find in new york.

They liked having a simple life, now after everything, all the bad, all the fighting was done, at least for them. So when they get random visits from Bucky’s old team from time to time, it feels odd to have guest in the house and Steve…..well he flat out hides in the bedroom and refuses to come out, partly in fear and partly because he doesn’t trust them, not like Bucky does.

Nat’s first and then Bruce one day, bringing over vitamins and literally anything Steve will need during the rest of the pregnancy and after medicine wise. Something Bucky is very grateful for. He had planned on ordering what he needed online, but this was better. Tony being Tony, never came for a visit, but he did send them plenty of baby things in colors that would suit a boy or girl.

Sam came at some point to check in and see how they were doing, and then there was Thors visit. The blonde alpha was loud and happy, clapping Bucky hard on the back and wishing him congrats on the pup to come. This was the first visit that Steve comes out for and not because he isn’t scared or because he suddenly trusts this new person, but because Thor brought cookies and not just normal cookies, but ones from Asgard.

The smell of them filling the space and well, Steve was craving sweets so strongly, that he just...followed his nose.

“Steven it is good to meet you, I am Thor, Bucky has told me much about you and I must congratulate you on news of your young one.” The big blonde says merrily.

Steve is a grown man and tries to act like one instead of following his desire to hide behind Bucky. Also he just….takes in this alpha and wow, he makes even Bucky and himself seem small, this guy is huge, but his scent is so….welcoming and kind and lighthearted….Steve finds he doesn’t mind it so much and then he sees it...the tin of cookies in Thors hands and his mouth waters.

“Ah I see you want some of these?” Thor teases.

Steve clears his throat and finally speaks and tries to remember he can talk to people like a normal person, he does it all the time with the people in town.

“Thank you, it’s nice to meet you Thor….and….yes can I?” He nods towards the cookies.

Bucky watches them both with a pleased smile on his face, his scent proud of his omega and so glad he is getting along with at least one of his friends.

“But of course.” Thor finally says much more softly as he hands them over to Steve who looks down at the tin and licks his lips before glancing over to Bucky.

Bucky laughs softly, “Go on doll I know you can’t wait to tear into those.”

Biting his bottom lip Steve nods and bounces excitedly into the kitchen to get some milk.

Bucky turns back to Thor and puts his hand up in the air, Thor smiles more and high fives him. “You were right about the treats James.”

“Should have thought of that sooner, he refuses to meet anyone else right now.” Bucky says a touch sad at the thought of his mate scared to meet the others.

“He has been through much, give him time. In the meantime I will make sure you have plenty of those for as long as you want them.” Thor offers quietly and more serious.

That has Bucky smiling gratefully up at one of his best friends, “Thank you.”

_____________________

Steve does indeed devour the cookies. They taste like nothing he has ever had before and he growls playfully at Bucky after Thor is gone about sharing them. Bucky is able to snag one and nearly has a orgasm from how good they taste.

________________

Bucky spends plenty of his days, rubbing coco butter on his omega’s rounded belly, purring in delight feeling his pup kick away under his hands. Steve watching him with such fondness and love as the wind chimes blow in the breeze outside, it’s enough to make Bucky wanna pinch himself to make sure it’s all real.

__________________

The nursery is all painted, the crib set just where Steve wants it, plenty of stuffies everywhere, his nesting getting the best of him and Bucky indulging him with it every step of the way. Making sure the pup will have plenty of soft things.

__________________

On the day of her birth, little Ariel Rose Rogers doesn’t make much of a fuss. Steve doesn’t have a long labor, Bruce comes to their home to help with the birth. It only takes two hours. Her tiny cry filling the space as Steve pushes one last time, making herself known to the world. Tuffs of blonde hair adoring her head, a tiny dimple in her chin and beautiful blue/grey eyes that already hold fierceness much like her fathers.

Bucky teases that’s she is going to be trouble and it makes his omega laugh freely, his scent happy and so, so in love with their little bundle of of joy already.

Bucky sniffles placing a loving kiss to the top of her head after she’s all cleaned up and in Steve’s arms to feed. She’s beautiful and theirs and they both cry as they look down at her.


	15. A New Life

The soft gurgling sounds followed by the soft voice of his omega are what wake Bucky a few weeks later. He blinks his sleepy eyes open and just…..gazes at his sweet Stevie feeding their little pup, looking the softest he ever has and so at peace and content, Bucky could cry, or take a picture. **  
**

For now he just snuffles sleepily and moves closer until he’s sitting up, yawning quietly blearily peering at his mate who finally looks up from the baby and gives him a soft smile.

“Good morning alpha.” Steve says softly.

Everything about him this morning screams soft, not a weapon, not a killing machine, not even his old captain america no nonsense self. It’s all Steve Rogers, sweet omega who loves Bucky Barnes, caring and loving alpha and the brunette can’t help, but lean forward and kiss his mate sweetly.

                                    __________________

By three months of age little Ariel is a trouble maker already and it’s all Steve. Bucky teases his mate about it daily, just knowing when she’s older the bullies she’s going to stop and the fights she will get into and Bucky’s proud already just knowing she’s going to take after her daddy so dam much.

The brunette however gets choked up when he see’s little things of himself in his daughter though….the way she tries to figure something out, how she seems to think it through before trying whatever it is. It’s so fucking cute Bucky can’t stand it.

                                     _____________

By 6 months she’s talking and they already learned at 4 months she’s already tougher and smarter then normal thanks to the super soldier serum running through her little veins, They had been worried sick at first and they didn’t sleep much those first few days, but in the end there was nothing they could do about it and at least this way…she wouldn’t ever get sick. She wouldn’t get hurt all that easily either.

                             _____________

“Andddd up we goooooooooo.” Bucky sing songs as he throws his baby girl in the air making her laugh yet again.

Steve sits on the floor, leaned back against the couch, sketch pad on his bent knees as he draws his family in front of him. He isn’t worried about his alpha dropping their child, it’s to hard wired into his brain, in both their brains to protect and love.

“You like that huh?” Bucky says flying her around the room now as she laughs and giggles and fills the room with such a pure happy scent it’s powerful and emotional. From the start she has always been a very chill baby and almost always happy.

“More papa.” She demands in a tiny voice, like little wind chimes. Steve bites his bottom lip watching them play and he thinks,  _‘I would go through all that suffering again if this is what I would get.’_  Feeling like the most lucky omega ever.

 

 


End file.
